“Disgraceful” screamed Neil Custis, seemingly forgetting the sheer hypocrisy of making that statement when his employers happen to be that phone hacking, crude, lying, defaming piece of shit rag The S*n, “he’s done a good job” the media luvvies cried as one by one the clueless patronising lectures continued. The reviews for episode god knows how many have been done previously of Everton Family Fortunes were scathing.
Source: evertonfc.com
In their outrage either the gentlemen of the press had forgotten we filled in the exact same survey last season or in their desperate need to defend Oxo head they ignored it. It’s another sign that the endgame is approaching as the propaganda machine was revved up to maximum. With that of course came the lies. Far from being 17th, below West Brom and in chaos when he arrived, we were actually in 13th, 5 points clear of the drop having put 4 past West Ham. A game which he’s claimed as his own. Why the media don’t bring him up on this is unusual as an Allardyce team having 4 shots on target in a game these days, let alone scoring 4 goals, is something in the realm of miracle.
We’re being talked to every week like we should be bowing down in messianic gratitude to his presence. Sorry mate but we are not Bolton, we are not Crystal Palace, we are not Sunderland so turn the small time shite in and get the fuck out. Yes he got us to 40 points (woo, when’s the parade I wonder?) but he is not the man to take us forward in any way shape or form. Never can I remember any Everton manager in my lifetime being as universally hated as him, yet despite it being put in front of him in black and white, he still can’t see it. A “marketing slip-up” apparently. He got an apology from Bill too, which officially was the final straw into us becoming a pathetic parody club.
When he came in he had the opportunity to prove us wrong. A man always seen as someone who could only provide stability and little else, he had the chance to take on a big club and help kick us on. Instead of going on to try and clinch 7th and Europe, he instead stuck to type. In what’s been possibly the least competitive Premier League season ever outside the top 6, to be told as we were this week that “safety was our only target” was a massive slap in the face.
A common cliche in football is that you should never try to take on the fans as it’ll always be a losing battle. If Allardyce had some credit in his favour, committing to attacking football or leading us to good wins over the teams above us lets say, then fine, he could have got away with it to an extent. But when he’s barely improved us in any way over 5 months, bored us all to death with turgid shite and surrendered in every big game, then it’s probably best he kept quiet.
As the season thankfully winds down to its much needed conclusion, the theme of his comments lately have been reflection on the “brilliant job” he’s done, an 11 out of 10 he marked himself. So let’s remind ourselves then of piehead’s “achievements”:
- 7 wins in 21 in all competitions – (8 in 22 if you want to include Apollon that Shakespeare was in charge of). 6 of them were against teams battling relegation. (Leicester the only top 8 team we’ve beaten)
- Cowardly surrendering to a Man City side that barely needed to come out of 1st gear (recording the least amount of possession at home by a PL side since stats were recorded – 18%)
- The 3rd least amount of shots in the Premier League – (320) – only Swansea and West Ham have managed less, with only Swansea, West Brom and Huddersfield managing less shots on target.
- Playing 7 defensive players against the worst Arsenal team of the Wenger era that had lost 3-1 the previous week to Swansea, only to end up being 4-0 down after 40 minutes.
- Playing Cuco Martina at left back, who, hopeless at right back was predictably even worse out of position. Not in Allardyce’s mind though, as he claimed that he did a “fantastic job”.
- Parking the bus in 2 winnable away games, West Brom and Bournemouth, both battling relegation, resulting in a goalless draw and a 2-1 defeat.
- Claiming that Rooney and Sigurdsson couldn’t play together in the same team, then deciding to do so in the following game.
- Saying that Cenk Tosun was struggling to adapt to the Premier League because of cold weather, only for him to score both goals at Stoke in what was basically a blizzard.
- Throwing a lead away at Burnley, making it the first time Sean Dyche had come from behind to win in the Premier League – then laughed at us in his post match interview when asked about the reception he got.
- Bottling the best opportunity we’ve had in the last 8 years to win a derby against a weakened Liverpool side, having parked the bus for 75 minutes.
- Praising a point against a Swansea team battling relegation having been outplayed for much of the game and conceding a goal a Sunday League team would be embarrassed watching back.
- Declaring that safety was our “only target” this season, despite us spending nearly £200m.
So having looked back it’s only fair that we use the next two televised home games to make it clear: “Thanks Sam, but our survey says piss off”.
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Ross Edwards
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